Love Your Success But Don’t Take It Personally


We all can be difficult.


In fact, “the difficult people”, is the most common response I get when I ask people what they dislike most about their work.

While it is natural for most people at work to be different to you, it is not necessary for that difference to cause you difficulty.

Now some people may say “well that’s all great in theory, but tell that to the other person!”. 

I understand that response. I know that frustration. I also know that when I’ve looked beyond loving and protecting my own success, I’ve found space to accept difference – but only when I’ve let go of my choice to take things personally.


“When business owners become distracted by their personal differences, such as communication styles, attitudes, beliefs and motivations, the following behaviours are commonplace:”


  • Responding emotively to suggestions and challenges; 
  • Superficial questioning of other’s motives;
  • Unproductive sensitivity to performance feedback;
  • Adopting an ‘us’ vs ‘them’ mentality; and
  • Avoiding conflict all together.

While we are all told it is important to be yourself, this is the very essence of difference. But our personal differences can be accommodated when we pursue our success through 3 more inclusive and common perspectives: system, role and self.

1. System – we all exist in a system. Be it a group, team, business, community, family, or network, when properly run our systems provide common and inclusive purposes for all participants.

2. Role – we all have roles within our systems. Your duties in your systems, if defined correctly and known, should be complimentary and provide common and inclusive purposes with other’s.

3. Self – we all bring our ‘self’ to our role. You bring ‘yourself’,I bring ‘myself’, they bring ‘themselves’. Our ‘selves’ provide a common point of reference for understanding differences to others.


“By seeking to understand people from the perspective of their ‘self ’, in a ‘role’, in a ‘system’, we will be better placed to put aside the differences that may exist, or if necessary, resolve them.”


When you shift the focus of your success from a personal perspective, you will find common ground to understand another’s position and actions to resolve and address difficulties.

By all means love your success, but don’t take it personally.

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